Election Season Coverage
The benefit of having a DVR on my satellite is that I don’t have to listen to political ads on TV anymore. It’s really a blessing because during the presidential election of 04 I developed an eye twitch over all the nonsensical “battleground” commercials. During the current midterm elections I’m able to enjoy my shows without wanting to climb a water tower, rifle in hand, over the same sort of commercials. Being so I ALMOST missed this little nugget of information. I found out that the position of Walworth County Coroner (you know…dead people) is an elected position. Sit with that one for a moment. The whole purpose of an election is to democratically appoint a person to a position to properly reflect the views of the constituency. Is that really necessary in the position of County Coroner? What kind of platform is he running on? What do his commercials sound like?
“On November 4 as you go to the polls to elect a Coroner remember me, John Winklemeyer. My opponent molests the dead and has tea parties with the corpses dressed as the Village People. So vote for the candidate who won’t molest your dead!”
“Good afternoon! I’m Kyle Sneed and I’m running for County Coroner. John Winklemeyer has spread lies about my adult onset necrophilia. It’s just that I care too much. It’s a good sort of flaw. My family values have been my moral compass in my career and I hope that you give me the opportunity to share them with the deceased. I also think John Winklemeyer might be a vampire. Vote for me on November 4.”
My crack research staff, at my request, investigated this situation and we found that the fella serving as Walworth County Coroner has been in office since 1960. At the age of 71 (soon to require his own services) he’s run unopposed in all but a few elections. Does that really surprise you? His age begs the question of how old is too old to perform autopsies? I would imagine it’s when you can’t tell the difference between doctor and corpse, but hey, more power to him. I just think it would be fun to run against him just for the debates.
“Famed” Blogger,
“On November 4 as you go to the polls to elect a Coroner remember me, John Winklemeyer. My opponent molests the dead and has tea parties with the corpses dressed as the Village People. So vote for the candidate who won’t molest your dead!”
“Good afternoon! I’m Kyle Sneed and I’m running for County Coroner. John Winklemeyer has spread lies about my adult onset necrophilia. It’s just that I care too much. It’s a good sort of flaw. My family values have been my moral compass in my career and I hope that you give me the opportunity to share them with the deceased. I also think John Winklemeyer might be a vampire. Vote for me on November 4.”
My crack research staff, at my request, investigated this situation and we found that the fella serving as Walworth County Coroner has been in office since 1960. At the age of 71 (soon to require his own services) he’s run unopposed in all but a few elections. Does that really surprise you? His age begs the question of how old is too old to perform autopsies? I would imagine it’s when you can’t tell the difference between doctor and corpse, but hey, more power to him. I just think it would be fun to run against him just for the debates.
“Famed” Blogger,
posted by Jared Brasch at 12:08 PM
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